Slow Motion
by kuramasgirl13
Summary: [ONESHOT] You're yelling again, I shouldn't be concerned. I tell you I'm sorry, but you only become angrier. I look for your reaction. I should've seen this coming.


**Disclaimer:** Once upon a time, I owned Gravitation and I was making Shuichi and Eiri have wild, kinky sex on a motorcycle getting video taped…then I woke up and realize I've been watching those porn movies on HBO again. (and we all know you stay up late, just to watch them, too!)

_Dedicated to the lovely song by Straylight Run, "Now It's Done." Check it out on mtv's site one time. It's in the "LIVE" section. _

**Slow Motion  
**By KuramasGirl13  
One-Shot

Shuichi's POV

_-Every step a closer's a step that we both will regret-_

I watch the smoke travel from your mouth to the ceiling. It lingered in the air and was slow like this whole scene we are making for no audience but the small stack of stuff animals, including my beloved Kumagoro, sitting in the front, smiling as if nothing's wrong. It reminds me of Ryuichi for a split-second, and then I realize I'm in another fight with you. I don't want you to be even angrier with me so I turn back to you and look down, afraid to even look in your glowering eyes. There's a glass in my hands. It looks like liquor…it must be yours. I don't even remember picking it up. I stare down at it, watching the ice cubes and liquid shake as my hands do. It's pathetic, really. I wonder should I put it down or not, it seems to be quite the nuisance. I look around for a place to put it. There's not. I should give it back to you, that's probably why you are so angry with me. I don't, though. I hold onto it with the grip of a vulture.

"I'm sorr-" I say before you interrupt me.

"Again, Shindo. You always say "I'm sorry." But I can't keep cleaning up after you. I have better things to do than picking up your shit around the house, and then you make a mess in the kitchen…there is brownie mix all over the walls! The walls, Shindo! How is that possible? Your…."

_-Your overreacting is taking me back to a time better left alone-_

I hear your voice and I want to listen, I really do, but it's so hard when your words are slurring together. You must be drunk. This makes me even angrier. I know it's not my business, but it's always this liquor that you let into your system. I become outraged and throw down the glass to the floor. It's so slow I will it faster. Nothing works. The liquid splashes everywhere and that's when I realize what a huge mistake that was. I dare not to look up this time. I cower away, hoping you will just leave or tell me to leave, anything but...

"I-I'm sorr-"

Searing pain.

I freeze when I realize you have hit me. You have slapped me…

My eyes widen, not in pain, but in complete and utter amazement you would do such a thing. I shouldn't be surprised, especially after your past. I look up to you, you're shocked as well. More pain, but this time somewhere deep inside. I recognize this pain for it has become so routine in my life, all because of you.

I want to say something like, "Do you even notice what you do to me?" I want to slap you back, but I don't. I never do, and you know that. We both know I can never stand up to you. I just wish sometimes you could see the pain that sometimes flashes in my eyes when you whisper a woman's name in bed, or leave after we make love, or exile me from the house

_-Waiting for better words, they'll never come-_

I look down, now, afraid that you might do it again or something like that. I don't even know what I'm thinking right now. I'm just at a loss of what I should say or do to you. Should I cry? No, you would think that weak and get angrier.

I cry, despite my feelings and your feelings on it. I guess I deserved the slap now. I mean, I'm weak right? If I can't even stand up to you, you deserve to hit me. The crying because choked sobs as I place my hands over my face, ashamed of myself. I can't do anything right. I'm never good enough. I'm not as gorgeous as those women you have frivolous sex with. I'm not good enough in bed. I can't clean. I can't do anything. I cry harder, hoping you will pull me into your arms like you always do after our fights. You don't. I guess this is different since you hit me this time. I run away from all this. I run out the door, almost slipping on the liquor all over the floor. I can picture you laughing at me, joking on my clumsiness, except this time, I'm not laughing with you.

I run out into the street and I can vaguely hear someone call out my name. I look back and see you running after me, your hand outstretched. I smile inside, I would smile physically, but something is happening. I don't know what, yet. I see something coming at me. Everything goes in slow motion while I watch in horror as the car hits me.

_A/n: This is a oneshot. Just something I needed to write, so I won't be writing anymore. This was like a journal entry for me. I need to get somethings out that have been happening in my own life. Lots of weirdness going on here. I do what Shuichi does in this little thing- I always feel like things are in slow motion and I get so distracted from everything…well I hope you enjoyed this. If I feel like it, I might add one more chapter…but don't expect it too soon._

_Reviews make me really happy and angst-free!_


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